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SICKLY EATERS

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow

I just finished a book called Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow. Well, to say I finished it is a bit of an exaggeration… I’m not sure if this is a common thing, or a me thing or maybe an ADHD thing. Probably a combination of all of them… But sometimes when I know what’s going to happen next, it’s absolute torture for me...

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If I should die before I wake...

There's a line in Hamilton that spoke to a deep seated part of me that I rarely discuss. "I imagine death so much it feels just like a memory"It's less that I would imagine manners of dying. Just the concept of it and its inevitability. When I was at a young age, I was so convinced that I would never make it to...

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Grown

How did you get here so quickly? How, in such a short amount of time, did you manage to worm your way into the crevasses of my life? Somehow you're in everything I do now. Did you mean to do this?Did you mean to make yourself the first person I think of when I wake up?Whether it's waking up under the weight of a blanket that...

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To have... To lose...

Bewildered is the word. But is it even the word?Is there a word for this? For something that feels like it's both tearing me apart and wrapping me so tightly in its arms that nothing could ever divide me?I feel like I'm caught in the waves of an ocean storm, Tossed back and forth by unforgiving waves.Overwhelmed by forces beyond my own strength....

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beaten

I have wandered off the path that was beaten down for meHere the brush is verdant and wildI stumble through their reaching armsBranches and burrs clutch and clingTheir hands batter and halt my stepTheir fingers write on my flesh in black and blueTheir persistence consumes meTheir numbers confound meand yet I love them.  Green and aliveShadowed and defiantUnapologetic in survivalthis is my crusadeto...

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LILY AND INARA story book

1) He told her to kiss him, So she did 2) She didn't know when she'd lost her heart but she found it in his sleeping arms 3) She did everything she could SO... I'm struggling. Get ready for a stream of consciousnesssssssssss I keep realizing that I'm attaching these labels to Lily and Inara: weak/afraid/courageous/strong Which is exactly what I'm trying to...

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Application

  God has been showing me just how much he is involved in my life. I realized at the end of the last year that as much as I believed, I didn't have my identity in Christ and there were parts of my life that I wasn't giving up to him. I had been having a really hard time for the year leading...

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Lines in the Sand

What can I say?So much can change in a year ...

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Paradise

Most of these photos are actually from my good friend Michael Vo. I took mostly film shots that weekend, but there are a couple shots of mine that I'll mark. I can't believe it's been a year since I left this place. It was a true cosmos amongst the chaos for me. A small group of my home town friends decided to go...

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I want to know why something is good, not because I want to analyze it. But because I want to be able to then use that information to recognize the beauty in other things. --0 I want to know why something is good, not because I want to analyze it. But because I want to be able to then use that information to...

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Considering the negativity of "ew" knee-jerk reactions

Indulgence

The more I think about it. The more I realize that succumbing and giving into mental health struggles such as depression and anxiety and even my ADHD symptoms, is a luxury. As well as a privilege. That is not to say that it is not right for us to do so, but only that indulgence can do us no good. ...

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Lament

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping. My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows weak because of all my foes. How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after...

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bullets by weekend's end

Of course, only a thought in the shower could have compelled me to come back and write. We live in a strange time. Where there is no war in my country and crime rates are lower than ever.  And yet, as I run soap and steaming water over my skin, I wonder if that skin might feel the piercing blow of bullets pass...

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ECHO

  I can't tell you why I stopped writing... I tried to tell myself that I would draw instead.  But I found that my hand would lose heart after the first few marks. I forgot how to have faith in those simple little squiggles and lines.  But I never stopped searching for words. I started writing for others, hoping to find an echo...

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