Of course, only a thought in the shower could have compelled me to come back and write.

We live in a strange time. Where there is no war in my country and crime rates are lower than ever.  And yet, as I run soap and steaming water over my skin, I wonder if that skin might feel the piercing blow of bullets pass through it by the end of the weekend.

I've always been afraid of large crowds. Large miracles can quickly become large catastrophes when humans congregate in masses. I work for a company that organizes community events that are free of charge for those attending. As they are free of charge, it is also the goal that all are welcome, but this opening of arms also means that we are opening ourselves to vulnerability. With all that has happened and is happening, all it takes is one. One person, one minute and suddenly 60 people are dead or wounded.

So, now only time will tell. Whether or not I will have bullets in my body by the end of the weekend.  Whether I will watch people fall around me while I run and spare no regard for the sounds of their limbs hitting the pavement. The grunts of impact as something hits them in the back, a scream of pain and terror. Only time will tell if my nightmares will become my reality. It's no longer ridiculous. It's no longer a work of fiction.

*2 shootings since i wrote this. 4 in the past week